Soooo excited!!! Like I was hanging out in the sun when M and N rock up and take me on a road trip. YAY! Like a WHOLE week cruising around red dirt roads to #KingsCanyon and #Uluru and #KataTjuta and stuff. #EXCITED. I’ve done it like a MILLION times but I so lurve it #notoverit #exploreNT #YOLO

These guys know how to pack! We drive off loaded to the MAX with all this sh*t that they took out of a v old dinosaur parked at a mechanics #OldCarsAreCreepy. Gotta admit, with all that stuff on board I felt a little, like, you know, #fat.

We drive south along that v borrrrrrinnnnng long straight road that runs down the middle. Stop for #coffee @ErldundaRoadhouse. I tune into their old people conversation like “Oh wow, it’s all just one big rock” and “Oh wow, that’s amazing” and “Far-out that’s big”. Seriously, who says “far-out” anymore anywayz? #oldpeople #LMAO #basic

We turn right and along another v long straight road heading west. Totes over the long straight roads but sooo exciting about the destination. And I like know the way but they insist on driving like #UnderTheSpeedLimit #slow #arewethereyet. And after about a GAZILLION years we arrive #FINALLY. Let’s do stuff, let’s go places, let’s DO STUFF. #OMG

They pull up in the campsite with more old people and just leave me there while they go off every day running and exploring #disaster #alone. So much FOMO. Now I know how that super awesome adventure guy from Into The Wild feels when he’s alone and dying in The Magic Bus #SpoilerAlert #IntoTheWild #alone. These old ladies take my photo and laugh at me, said I look so strange with a big tent on my roof. Like whatevs. I can’t even get wifi out here in the carpark so no Netflix and Chill. L #oldpeoplearesorude #badhairday #feelingfat

So the old couple come back each night to sleep on my roof and then in the morning head off again. Rude! I’m totes being used. Finally after a week we start heading back to AS, gradually getting slower and slower, then I notice there’s like some tension between M and N #awks. And then #quedisaster I notice I’m getting low on energy. There is like a million gazillion K to get me home and I only have 60 K of fuel in my tank #AlmostEmpty #DISASTER. Slowly and then slowlyer we roll into AS with less than one litre of petrol in my tank! #tightarse #WTF

Then we pull up at the mechanics and they take all that stuff out of me and pack it back into the dinosaur. Then drop me back home. Like whatevs, I’m totes over it anyway. I thought this was gonna be fun. Instead all I did was like drive and sit around in a campsite. #unfair #neveragain #greynomadssuck